Are you f-ing kidding me?

So you would think the prospect of a black man winning the presidency would leave no opportunity for anything but optimisim about the progress of our nation, right? Its evidence that someone talented enough can attain the most powerful office in the land whatever the color of their skin, right? RIGHT?

Don’t worry, the esteemed Cornell West helps us back down from that sense of progress, to understand what’s really going on:

“The empire is in decline, the culture is in decay, the democracy is in trouble, financial markets near collapse,” said Princeton professor Cornel West. “It’s almost Biblical. And you can imagine what the black brothers and sisters in the barbershops and beauty salons say: ‘Right when the thing is about to go under, they hand it over to the black man.'”

Asshole.

12 thoughts on “Are you f-ing kidding me?”

  1. It’s true. Didn’t you get the memo, Will? I just got off the phone with my white-power telephone tree. We’re all conspiring to turn control over to the black man just in time for the ship to sink so we can all yell, “I told you so!!”

  2. I knew it! You crackers had it in for us all along!

    Seriously, though, I think Obama might be a one-term president. Not through any fault or failing of his administration, but in 2012:
    -Oil is only going to be more expensive.
    -The weather is going to be slightly worse. Or at least everyone will insist that July 2012 was hotter or colder or dryer or wetter than any on record, therefore he didn’t fix global warming.
    -We’re still going to have military involvement in the Middle East somehow.

    and most importantly,
    -Sarah Palin will be running on a “Resurrect Real America” platform.

  3. I like this image of post-apocalyptical America, actually… Acrid smell of charred bodies, the orange glow of a CO2 thick atmosphere. Amidst the ruins of Wall Street, the Barber Shop stands filled with the Black folk getting haircuts talking shit about The Man.

    The human spirit is powerful; some institutions will endure through even the end times!

  4. Speaking of barbery, I was getting my hair cut the other day and the topic of the election came up. My stylist (shut up) mentioned, in hushed tones, that one of the big reasons she is voting for Obama is so that “they” won’t be able to complain so much about being kept down. You know, since “one of them” will be president. I’m taking a guess that by “they” she meant, you know, “Teh Blacks.”

    I’ve known her for a while, and you would really have to stretch the definition to label her as racist. All the same, do White people really spend time worrying about what Black people complain about? I kind of hope for a successful Obama presidency so that the Whites will stop complaining about how much the Blacks complain about how much the Whites keep them down.

  5. I suggest you submit the issue to the chairman at your next White Policy Platform meeting (aka Crackerpalooza). Might as well present a unified front.

  6. >>I’ve known her for a while, and you would really have to stretch the definition to label her as racist. All the same, do White people really spend time worrying about what Black people complain about?<<

    Hmm… there are certain small but noisy groups of people who would like you to believe that I’m being racist even by just doing my laundry. That does get tiring after a while.

    There’s some small part of me that hopes this election can help to heal some old wounds. Not a magic bullet, and certainly not THE reason to vote for him, but still a source of hope.

    I was thinking that Palin’s platform would be something more like, “Revival of Bush-Era Eloquence”

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